MDMA And Childhood Trauma

Today’s post is by Jill Sitnick from episode 316 video and audio. Jill spoke about healing childhood trauma with MDMA assisted psychotherapy.

Healing childhood trauma-induced PTSD with MDMA-assisted psychotherapy has been a life-changing experience for me. As the founder of The Journey Sage, I aim to demystify this therapy and reduce the stigma around psychedelics for mental health. As the FDA approval is anticipated in August 2024, I think it is important for people to understand this healing modality.

In my late 40’s I was diagnosed with PTSD due to childhood trauma. I was absolutely sure that something awful was right around the corner and I would find myself in poverty just like when I was a child. After months of my body feeling like I was running a never-ending race for survival, I begrudgingly admitted my therapist’s diagnosis was right and I had PTSD. I took her up on her offer to participate in MDMA-assisted psychotherapy after I looked at the clinical research on MAPS.org that showed approximately two-thirds of study participants no longer qualified for PTSD diagnoses after three therapeutic uses of MDMA.

Understanding MDMA therapy for PTSD as a structured medical procedure takes away a lot of the stigma that surrounds psychedelics. The therapy entails preparation, the therapy session, and a healing phase. For instance, a typical cycle of my psychedelic therapy included 40% preparation, 20% journey day, and 40% integration. The time I spent preparing for and integrating after my therapeutic journeys was vital for achieving lasting benefits.

Over the span of a year, I underwent three MDMA-assisted journeys, delving into my past and present without the usual fear responses from my body. Specifically, I was able to articulate, for the first time, my deep-seated fear that my father would harm me if he could. He was a domestic abuser who physically and emotionally abused me and my mother. This was a major milestone, as my fear of him was always too overwhelming to express, even as an adult, until MDMA calmed my body.

In addition to finally discussing my fear, I reframed my childhood beliefs after each journey. You know when you return to your childhood home and things look different than how you remembered them? Think of that process when looking at frightening or traumatic memories. That was how my integration of the MDMA therapy worked. During the integration phase, or the last 40% of the therapy cycle, I reframed so many childhood memories by simply looking at them from my adult perspective.

Image by Jill Wellington from Pixabay

Reframing childhood beliefs was the key to healing. A child being beaten believes the world is unsafe, while an adult sees the abuser as troubled. My integration process involved unraveling the stories my young mind created to explain my experiences. Sometimes, this happened quickly; other times, it required repeated reflection.

After the integration phase of my third journey, I no longer qualified for a PTSD diagnosis. I wasn’t afraid of the future. I felt I had a sense of control over my life. I was not going to live as an adult the way I had been forced to live as a child – in constant fear.

This therapy saved my life and I felt a strong responsibility to use my voice to explain the healing process and help remove the stigma that surrounds psychedelics. It is my hope that sharing my story demystifies MDMA therapy for PTSD.

Bio:

Jill Sitnick founded The Journey Sage, an educational platform that explains MDMA for PTSD therapy to help dispel the stigma of psychedelics for mental health. She brings her unique perspective as a patient who healed after three therapeutic psychedelic journeys over the course of a year. When she no longer qualified for a PTSD diagnosis she wrote Rescuing Jill: How MDMA with a Dash of Mushrooms Healed My PTSD and an intentions-setting companion workbook. In The Journey Sage’s YouTube channel, Jill creates the educational content she wishes had been available during her healing journey.

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